This May we lost our spaniel, Maggie. It’s still hard to write about the loss of such a dear pet. Maggie came into our lives when we needed her and when she needed us. At a mere $40, we rescued her from a small yard and a family that didn’t want her, and in return got an exuberant, fiercely loyal and beautiful companion. She was 12 when she died, and she had a great life with us, but every day I still wake up thinking I’m going to feel her warm little 35lb body curled up in the space where my knees angle. She would wake me up at 7:00 on the dot, and she would share the spots of sunshine on the floor with you when you read books.

Last Christmas she was still running, killing squirrels (speedy!)  and generally keeping the revelry going- we thought she would live forever. Our first Christmas without her is going to be hard. We’ll definitely be putting up her stocking over our fireplace, and I know that this winter has been so empty without her. When I lived in Switzerland I would even Skype with her, and every time I came home I knew she would bound to the door and jump on me and smell everything I owned because it smelled differently. She got white hair all over everything I own, and I still put on clothes with white hairs on them- she’s still here, in a way! She had dirty little feet and she would scratch my door to come in with them, and the front of my door is slightly stained because of it, but I can’t bear to paint over the dirt.

This is an extremely personal post, I debated whether to share this, but we all can relate to mortality and death, as it eventually gets us all. We miss them every day, and though time heals all wounds, the scars remain.