Sometimes I write poems.

Sometimes they are totally nonsensical and ridiculous, much like the one below. I wrote it while pining for something more than the tiny granite shower my apartment had.

Ode to a Bathtub

Oh if I were a bathtub, that would be a tale!

To be oval or round and probably quite pale!

I would sit on the ground as still as could be,

Oh if I were a bathtub, yessiree!

Delirium would never overcome my whitewashed mind,

For I am a bathtub and ceramic, looking quite fine!

In a corner I would sit, proudly and grand!

Or, if you’d like, I can say I would stand.

I would never have the chance to move from my spot.

I’m stuck there forever, not staggering a lot.

In general, not moving at all,

Also, on a side note, I would not be tall.

If I were a bathtub, now I can say,

I’d prefer to have feet or claws that were splayed.

I’d quite like to be fancy, not boring or plain.

I’d like to be pleasing to people who are vain.

I wouldn’t be wooden or made of something strange,

And I would staunchly refuse to bathe animals with mange.

I’m a bathtub of standards, you must understand!

I’m the greatest bathtub in all of the lands!

I’m a bathtub of fortitude, never leaving my post!

Rest assured I shall be here when you need me the most!

Thank you fair people for reading my words!

Now, if I were a bathtub, writing this would be just absurd.

I assure you, good readers, I promise you this:

A bathtub I am not, nor am I about my wits.