Upstate but feeling low

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Lately I’ve been realizing how in statis I’ve been. Like an animal keeping its metabolism slow so that it can conserve calories. It’s tiring in it’s own way.

I wrote a bit about this on Instagram and here’s part of it.

“I feel untethered, but it’s hard to tether yourself to anything when you’re in a state of preparing, however slowly, to leave. I want to be making big loud friendships with complicated amazing people, and I want to be social and look outside my box, but it’s hard not to feel duplicitous building relationships that likely won’t last or gain the beautiful layers of depth that many do only after lots of time. I guess moving every two years like clockwork is catching up to me a bit.”

Tonight after expressing these feelings, I came home and made a risotto with chanterelle mushrooms, had a glass of wine, and currently have a face mask on. Laundry is in the dryer, dishes are done, work is over, and life is moving along in the clunky but regular way it is right now. I get to look back on beautiful photos like the ones above that show quiet, sunny days in Upstate New York of spiderwebs, marble topped dressers a hundred years old, and oil-based skincare that I talked about in my previous post.

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Snails and serums

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Current favorites! My skin feels and looks healthier than it has been in some time. I’m not patient enough to try things for a long time, if they don’t do something in a week or two it’s not going to stay in my repertoire. These Elensilia masks are affordable and feel great- I want to try their other mask formula next! I can’t afford to use these more than 2x a week or so. The Pearlessence serum is something I found at TJMaxx and it’s actually working pretty well- I was super dubious, but the formula isn’t sticky, soaks in well, and does make my skin look more luminous. The Mizon Snail Repair Ampoule is something that’s been on my list to purchase for over a year, and I’m damn happy. The little brown glass bottle feels so sleek and the formula is amazing. My skin looks and feels great, and the elaborate ritual of using multiple products before bed and when I wake up is relaxing. It’s just me now, and so I’ve got all the time in the world and a bathroom to myself. May as well fill it with little bottles of things.

This is me dipping my toe in the skincare pool. It’s something!